Exasperated! That is my attitude today. God has been tugging at my heart for several years now, yes I said several years to simplify my life and return to Biblical Womanhood. And I will tell you my flesh has been fighting hard against it. 

What is Biblical Womanhood? It is everything you can think of that is in complete opposition of what our culture has taught. It is being a servant, working in submission to our God given authority (our husband), training our children to be kingdom focused, homemaking (yes we are to be keepers in our homes). This is my dream and this is my goal, but I seem to be failing miserably. I'm reading a book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. This book has been so convicting and challenging for me. Because I like most Christian women think "I" have to have it perfect. The house, my quite time with the Lord, home-school, and even my prayer life. I become exasperated when all of the above doesn't happen the way "I" think it should. 

 I get up early, grab my cup of coffee, sit on my comfy couch with my Bible and then it never fails pitter, patter of little feet. "Mommy I'm hungry, mommy fix me some milk", and then the baby is crying. So my day starts with frustration and irritation. My time with God was ruined...the pity party starts. I start thinking of "me", my needs, my wants, my desires. I desire time with my husband before he rushes off to work, I want my children to sit quietly at the table and eat "all" of their breakfast, I want my house to be clean so that we can start our day of school, but that's just not the way it goes. In this book she recommends praying throughout the day. "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Because the thing is if my attitude is rotten my prayer life if rotten too. And the snowball rolls.... My kids see my discontentment, they hear the harshness of my voice, they even sometimes are the recipients of my hateful words. I am not setting a godly example for anyone in my home if this is the attitude I choose to have. And yes it is a choice. So what do I do? I pray! I ask God to forgive me, and help me because without His help I can't do this job. This is my job and I should do as unto the Lord. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. Ephesians 6:7-8 

My children are napping so I'm getting in the shower to pray. I'm not only going to clean the outside, but the inside as well. With His help I pray that my life will bring Him glory. That is my heart!!!!!